After nearly 10 weeks of rehearsal, show day had come around. This was the first and last time some audience members might see it, so it was these 2 performances that had to count. Throughout the day we had our 4:30 performance and our 7:00 show, which I will be evaluating individually, noticing their different successes and improvements.
Round 1- 4:30
One of the first things to note about this show was our audience. Reflecting on the 2 performances now, it is quite clear that our first audience were more vocal when it came to laughing and cheering. Why? Quite simple- we had a lot of friends in the crowds meaning we could take one step onto stage and people enjoyed it because they saw their friends at first, not our characters. I think having an audience like this first time round had its pros and cons. It gave us a wonderful start, filling us with momentum and confidence that we could deliver a strong piece that the audience were clearly enjoying. I think it was helpful in carrying away a lot of opening night nerves because we could tell even when performing that the response was positive. However looking at it now, I think the different audience to come at the 7:00, didn't react in the same way meaning our first performance got our hopes up. The whole cast was questioning themselves; why didn't they laugh? They laughed last time? I think our first audience gave us exactly what we wanted first time round, but by 7:00 perhaps the bar had been set too high.
As I was in the second half of the show, I think evaluating the performance of the first half is very important and very well deserved. Call it nerves, adrenaline or divine intervention, but each and every person bought something to the stage that we hadn't seen before. Fuelled by the audiences reaction and the want to do just as well as the other 2 casts, the first half definitely set the show up. It was a moment of pride, realising that you have worked with these people for over 9 weeks and overcome a lot of barriers with them- this cast was a unit. We win together, lose together and it was wonderful to see the first half win. They had presence, timing and comradeship as a group that lifted the piece.
When it came for the turn of the second half, we knew we had to meet, if not exceed the energy of the first half because it would take that much to carry it through. One thing that I believe went well in the 4:30 was that I was able to still play on stage within the world of the play. Every time you perform, in a different theatre, with a different prop, you can discover new things that help you deliver a fresh, vibrant performance. I think this, mixed with nerves, allowed us to carry a playful energy through the piece, which I hope did the playful nature of the play justice.
Something that needed to be improved from the first show to the second was my apprehension on stage. After doing a piece so many times, you know exactly what is coming; it is our job to know. However the trick is not letting the audience know and to keep living, breathing and speaking for the first time. When I came out the feedback I got was directed at my kiss with Benedick and it was a knock; you don't want any negative feedback. When people said that they wanted more, I felt slightly disheartened. After working with Jack to get our relationship as Beatrice and Benedick to reach a point in which we could access those deep rooted emotions meant hearing that it didn't necessarily translate to an audience, was hard to hear. However I realised that perhaps it wasn't the acting or the chemistry, it was the technicalities. We knew we had our peers watching and we all knew it was coming so you become nervous and apprehensive which causes you to lose the spark. We now had to make a concerted effort to piece together our intentions and our actions and I hoped to do so for the 7:00 show.
Overall this show had the energy, but perhaps now needed a little refinement. We needed to push the energy still, but find a control with it and instead of getting caught in the playfulness on stage, be able to control and manipulate it, playing off each other in a supportive manner, both to one and other and the text.
Round 2- 7:00
The hardest part of the second show was the transition. The effort it took to pick yourself up from that dip in energy and raise it high enough to pack a punch on stage was hard. It was almost like dragging a dead weight. It was a case of starting a fresh and not getting comfortable or complacent. If we did we would have failed before we even took a step out onto the stage. None of us are used to doing 2 shows and although that is how it may be in the professional world, I expect it is still difficult. I think what carried us through was the fact that both as a cast and personally, I felt I had something left to prove.
In my evaluation of the first performance I referred to the difference in our audience the second time round. The difference was this; although there were still friends in the audience, they hadn't come in their numbers. Instead it was our parents and in general an older audience. This definitely had an impact on the response. Whereas we had laughs and cheers the first time, we had a quieter, reserved audience. I think this was due to the fact that people in the audience may not know the play as well as our other classmates and our parents are used to seeing us perform at this point, so the hilarity of just walking on stage is not as present. This dampened our moods a little, but it made us even more determined to go out and give everything we had. There was a mutual feeling of now or never.
I think it is important for me to note my response to the 4:30 criticism about my relationship with Benedick. In the break between the shows, I sat down with Jack and discussed what it was we thought we were lacking on stage. Knowing each others response to that question can answer some of our own and we were able to work out different ways in which we could change our performance, pinpointing moments to push and moments to relax. I think in terms of the performance the response was better and I was able to contact Beatrice's emotions on stage, especially in my scenes with Benedick, which is something I lacked previously. I think our connection was more tender and understated than it was anything else so we had to heighten this so as to portray it to our second audience.
One thing I want to take forward to Brighton and Stratford based on this performance is to embrace the slip ups. When we were on stage there were minor technicalities that would sometimes throw me. For example, during a quiet scene I stepped back onto one of the plastic cups which really shook me. I had that feeling in the pit of my stomach that said 'I've just ruined the whole play.' When I had got past the dramatics of the whole thing, I realised that it wasn't very important and when I pointed it out to audience members it hadn't resonated as a play destroying moment. However, although afterwards I was reassured, in that moment I stopped living as Beatrice and let my fear as Olivia take over which I can't afford to do. I need to put my faith in the play, the audience and myself and know that stepping on a cup isn't the end of the world.
Final round- Overall reflection
I am very happy and very proud of the whole cast for our first 2 performances. I believe that we discovered, whether last minute or not, that when we work together, trusting not only our own instincts, but those of the others on stage, we can deliver a high energy, highly entertaining performance that we as a cast can be proud of. Going forward I can learn a lot from these shows: I can learn from Sam's stage presence, Michael's comedic timing and Kai's deep rooted character work. I can learn from my own mistakes, looking at why I messed up and assuring that my Brighton and Stratford audience never see them again.
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